one last time/

i remember when my brain began wrinkling w/ memories
        the earliest ones i had / 
belonged to understanding death. not the ugly death 
        that comes w/ tigerlillies & condolences / 
             but the neutrality of being 
the    so small            in the             really big

        back then/ 
                          i’d hold my breath in
 close my eyes/ & i rubbed them until all i saw 
 was the television’s warm seizure of cracked pepper.
 & then i leapt off into the/ deep accordion stretch of time

simply put/ i lived in that moment like all mustangs do/ 
likes raging black holes w/ fever dreams of being atoms again/ 
like telling a holy thing 
on a mountain/ like everything good comes through heavy rain
like early sunlit chiffon on the meadow’s frost/ like 

       holding you one last time/ one last time