of/

July 2025. 9 of 31. yes, i'm so behind. procrastination & carrying new projects are the fuel for writers block.

this is my heart/ 
everyone may have as much of it/ as they please/ 
it’s free/

followers can have more of me w/ an upgraded subscription/ 
for paid subscribers/ you can have my full attention/ eye contact
                  & an embrace from arms so wide open/ 
                         an onlyfans salary begins at my sternum.

        &i’m no stranger to kneeling / 
especially when i send god an urgent time sensitive email 

some love it when i spit: out the emotion/ 
                  ive held in for a long time
                  or when i swallow: my pride 
                  & do the thing that humbles me

i know im looked at from different positions/
some love the full on/ as an equal/ 
when there’s no ceremony to stand on
from above/ because i know im easy to look down on sometimes
         &naturally from below/ because/ let’s be honest/ 
                                my ego looks good from that angle

&some love it when there's something i put inside of me/
like a hallelujah when the weather is nice
or cold fruit to feel gorgeous. 
but it’s mostly when i smile your name in a good story.

you can buy the things i’ve worn or used
these are the sleeve i rolled up when i needed to work hard
these are the paintchips i soaped off my hands/ 
after the walls i put up/ needed to look more approachable.
                              & i didnt wear these/ 
but these are the burned matchsticks i have 
from the bridges i used to cross.
             
              honestly/ it’s intriguing/ 
the thing you can have for free/ 
          is what i value the most/ about myself
                     so/ giving people more/ 
really doesnt bother me much to be spread that thin.